Tag Archives: 2011

2011: THE YEAR IN REVIEW (no score, because I’m not even jokingly giving it 7/10)

Last day of 2011, so time to do some form of retrospective look back thing about how Awesome To The Max it’s all been.

Except it hasn’t. It’s been shit. There have been good parts, but generally speaking they’ve been massively outweighed by the seemingly endless, unforgiving, unrelenting wave of putrid shite that has aimed itself directly at my face (and gone up my nose a bit).

Sure, I went to Summerslam again and went to Hooters in Hollywood; I went to Tokyo and didn’t eat too much freak bastard food (and had a lot of canned cold coffee); I had Good Times at Groezrock and sat next to Milo from Descendents (when I still had my Milo Descendents glasses); Amsterdam was great, if a little hazy; some other stuff probably happened; SUIT UP; losing three stone helped me wheeze less.

But the bad points, which were bad so I don’t want to list them, pissed me off far more than the good points lifted me. From being dumped at the start of the year it seemed to be downcockinghill, somehow, from there. And try as I might to fix it, I’m still fucking broke – and it’s mainly my fault, which makes it even more annoying. Yeah, and I can’t even think how to put other issues through the year into polite, non-judgemental, still-respecting-privacy of others terms. So I won’t.

But hey, it’s a new year tomorrow. New year, new start and all that.

I don’t really get people segmenting their thoughts, hopes and dreams up into different years. Just because one date says 2011 after it and 2012 the next day doesn’t mean it’s a different world. It’s still the same. The same mistakes will be made, the same people will piss you off, the same shit will happen, the same routines will carry on. Just because it’s a different year doesn’t mean anything is actually different.

Still, I’m willing to play the game and have a cut-off point of midnight tonight. Let’s start afresh 2012. Do something different. Be a better person. Buy a gun. Shoot some public places up. Get arrested for making jokes on your blog. Be Spartacus.

But maybe 2011 will be saved – maybe this evening someone will give me a billion pounds, or tell me everyone I hate is dead, or tell me I’m finally going to get paid loads of money to sit at home in my pants playing and then writing about playing all the games I haven’t played yet – old and new. A man can dream.

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The mega end of year thing where I do a half-arsed “funny” list

Phew – thank Thor 2010 is over. It had outstayed its welcome truth be told, and if I’m being extra mean I would add that it had developed a bit of a stale, almost rotten smell. Something like bad beans. You know the type.

Having said all that, 2010 did have its moments. Though most of them were stupid, rubbish and pointless. Still, it had enough things that I can make a list of the best events of 2010, from a few categories I’m about to come up with off the top of my head. LIST: GO!

Best blog: Everyone who did #oneaday beyond, like, a month. Though mine is obviously, naturally the best.

Best ultimate review of the year (7/10): Obviously the official answer has to be ‘all of them’. But to make this at least a little more interesting, I’m going to throw in my personal choice: I’d have to go with ‘all of them’, as ‘all of them’ is the bestest. 7/10

Best would-be Eurovision Song Contest winner of the year: Ian Dransfield.

Game of the year: For what it attempted, what it did and the fact that it was a hell of a lot better than most fucking morons on the internet would have you believe, Heavy Rain. But for the ‘I had a shitload of fun from start to finish, though it did nothing actually new’, I’d go with Bayonetta.

Best stuff I did this year: Went to three countries I’d never been to before (and really wanted to go to anyway, and four if you’ll allow me Switzerland from Christmas 2009), didn’t get sacked, managed to be even more boring than I have ever been before, paid off a credit card and got rid of a loan, some other pointless shit.

Worst stuff I did this year: Remained 300 miles away from Anna for most of it. Nothing else comes close to being as shitty as that, even the act of killing five people. Ahem.

Stupid thing I decided to do of the year: Keep doing One A Day next year, beyond the finish date.

I am far too tired to think of anything funny or clever here, so I’m leaving it there. Hope your 2010 wasn’t as shit as it probably might have maybe been. And that 2011 is like twenty elevens, all curled up around your feet, farting gently.


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