Tag Archives: big brother

Here comes a deep and insightful opinion on Big Brother!

This was the last year for Big Brother, that TV thing that started off as quite an interesting idea and soon devolved into the maniacal wank-fest that it was over the last few years. I’ve managed to get through this year without seeing a single second of the godawful thing, which makes me very happy, and very proud.

What the fuck do you mean it’s still going on? Ultimate what what? Oh god.

So it would appear, as it’s the last series eveerrrr (it’ll be back in less than five years, I reckon) Channel 4 are pulling out all the stops to keep people watching. First of all by extending it for however long they’re extending it for (I don’t know how long this is, and I’m not checking. Screw you), then by bringing in John McCricirkckkiriskckzzk.

Well blow me down, if that isn’t just the perfect recipe for a slice of delicious TV Pie I Want To Watch (And Eat). Ohnowait. It’s exactly the kind of thing that makes me glad I rarely bother with TV, as I would likely rather have a limb chopped off than watch that utter gash.

I can’t take some arrogant high road though, as I have indeed watched a bit of Big Brother in my past. I watched the series with Kate thingy in it, I caught the latter part of the series where that horrible fat thing put a bottle up herself and I saw it the other year – mainly because I was forced by the Evil Taskmasters at hecklerspray to write about it. The series with that ginger twat in it, whose name I’ve forgotten.

Anyway, there’s no payoff here. I don’t like Big Brother, I’m not really shocked it’s still going on, I’m not going to watch it. Revelatiooooooon.

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Opening ceremonies: shit, or just shit compared to Beijing?

The 2010 World Cup starts tomorrow in South Africa, if you hadn’t noticed. This means there will likely be some kind of opening ceremony.

Does anyone care about opening ceremonies anymore? I mean, in Beijing they really just took the piss out of everyone and showed the world what can be accomplished if you keep your populace just scared enough to not question your governance. Before then, opening ceremonies were boring and pointless. After then, they became exercises in futility.

I’m going to use an analogy I’m not proud of here – it’s like Big Brother. It’s either godawful or just plain boring, yet most people seem to actually bother watching it. There will be some idiots prancing around in costumes that mark the individuality of their nation, probably some sporting greats from the past, no mention of Apartheid and then some goits with an overinflated opinion of themselves will run around on some grass for a bit. Still, at least we’ll have the World Cup ceremony to look forward to.

The best joke of all time, or completely and totally the worst? YOU DECIDE.

Anyway, I really do doubt I’ll watch the opening ceremony of the World Cup tomorrow for two very good reasons: one, the stuff I just said, and two, I don’t even know if there is one. I mean, there will be, right? Oh god, I need to know now. And to know I’ll probably have to watch it, and to watch it will mean I’ll have watched it and… oh. Bollocks.

Still, a month of football awaits. A month of boring arguments and identikit comments on the action from everyone in the world. A month of a fantasy league system that’s just a bit shit and doesn’t work properly. A month of getting furious when England lose again. And a month of being forced to watch ITV. Sigh.

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