The temptation. I need to learn how to get past it. I’ve got more self control than I’ve ever had before, but I still give in every now and then to temptation. Do I need this DVD? No, but it is only one click until I can have it. Do I really have no food in the house, thus necessitating ordering fried chicken? No, but I am hungry and cooking means effort. It’s proper ‘devil on one shoulder angel on the other’ shit.
Fortunately circumstances have stepped in and helped me to keep control over these pointless wants, urges and temptations. I haven’t bought a DVD from Play in years – in fact the last time I bought any DVD from anywhere was from Amazon, and that was Carl Sagan’s Cosmos so it’s an educational, mind-expanding purchase. I haven’t given in to takeaway when I’ve had stuff in the kitchen in weeks and even Steam is failing to tempt me as much as it once did. Though that’s partly because I already own 70 per cent of the stuff I want off there.
I would call this all maturity, or growing up, calming down or whatever else but it isn’t. I still want all these things like the entitled little shit I am, I just manage to exercise that bit more control. My oft-whined about money issues have helped this situation too, naturally.
Hopefully one day it will get to the point where I can happily browse Amazon and not hover over the purchase button on a cart full of shit I will never play, read or watch. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to do like normal people do and browse Just Eat with no intention of buying food (that is how it works, right?).
Or: hopefully one day I’ll have a million billion pounds, so none of this stressing out will matter anymore. Yeah, I prefer this one.