Tag Archives: cameron

Levenson, Cameron and some CUTTING satire

David Cameron really, really is full of shit, isn’t he? A horrible, smug, testicle-headed prick of a man, conniving and dishonest, valuing personal ambition over any basic values or the notion of integrity.

But, onto more pressing matters: one, I need a new chair. This fold-up jobby I have here at my shitty desk is uncomfortable and weird, clearly not made for this purpose. And if it was made for this purpose, it was made by an idiot.

I could use the massive beanbag, actually.

Or I could sell the massive beanbag, come to think of it.

Two, I’m about to start watching Game Of Thrones. While I still have 270 pages of the second book left (I don’t read a lot), I’ve decided I need some Bean in my life.

Also I’ve been loaned it on Blu-ray, so I should really get it out of the way so not to hold onto it too long.

Three, I need a new desk. See “shitty desk” comment in point one (1). This paint-splattered thing is sturdy and sizeable enough, but it’s not quite tall enough and doesn’t feel like a proper workstation, which it should.

Otherwise I just end up using it sparingly, as I am doing recently, and I don’t play enough games on it. Because games are important. THEY ARE.

Four, does anybody want to buy a massive red beanbag? Barely used, birthday present from 2010, just sits being used as a bedside table in my room. Good working order.

So yeah, important things in life that keep my attention away from that cancerous anal polyp known as our lord and saviour/king of the country/whatever he is.

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Politics went boring again

So who are you going to vote for then? I’m writing this with about half an hour of the final political debate, after having watched all of them and almost paid attention in-between Tweeting comedy gold. So it’s safe to say I’m the most politically-educated person alive today. Fact. What have we learned from these debates? Well, that the initial novelty does soon wear off. It was surprising and interesting to see these three leaders stand up, live on telly and talk about the issues that apparently matter. Initially, at least.

The second time around it became a bit old, with the three same blokes expressing the three same viewpoints on pretty similar points again. Third time around, it’s just out and out boring. We need more swearing, we need genuine anger, tears, fists flying and cries of “BIGOT!” whenever possible.

We don’t need Cameron saying “change” in under five seconds of his opening speech (as timed by John Prescott on Twitter), we don’t need Gordon Brown’s ‘switched off robot’ face every time he takes a breath, and we don’t need Clegg playing the “I’m so different to these two” card. Though, admittedly, most of all we need less David Cameron on TV. Forever. Horrible-faced man, very much needs a jab in the balls. If he has any.

Anyway, I’ve given up on it and moved to the football. Politics went from interesting to quite hopeful and back to dull samey shite over the space of three weeks. Oh well. It has actually affected my vote.

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