It’s surprising how naked I can be made to feel with the simple breaking of one tiny thing in my life. See, I have what’s known as a “lap” “top” computer. With it comes a battery, so the unit can be operated without the necessity for a power socket nearby. It’s a miracle of modern technology.
Unfortunately it does still need power in order to charge up the battery in the first place, and in order to funnel the electric (“planets in the wires”) into the battery, one requires what I cunningly call a “charger”.
I’m bored of writing this now. My charger has broken, it keeps beeping. Fortunately I have Tiny Laptop, otherwise I’d be dead. DEAD FROM DEADNESS. Either that or slightly inconvenienced for a couple of days. Not really sure which. Hmm.
This also means I don’t have ready access to Photoshop facilities, meaning the greatest thing about this blog can’t actually be done. You people literally have no reason to read this page, or even look at what’s going on on it. You may as well just go and not come back. It’s fine. It’s better for everyone.
Also, I’ve eaten about 15 clementines today, and only two of them have been nice. FML.
Ooh, make that three.
As I am quite literally perfect in every way, it came as something of a surprise that I had actually made a mistake in my preparations for coming to the continent. What must have been going through my head when I realised I had actually made a mistake – on Christmas Day of all days! – is beyond me. Well, it’s not, because it’s my brain so I know damn well what was going through it.
Anyway, on coming to this land of Swissers, I decided it would be a good idea to bring with me a plug convertor in order to be able to plug in my electrical equipment and charge it up so it doesn’t run out of battery. Like this Tiny Laptop is going to in about 40 minutes. Would you believe it, but when I went and got the convertor out of my bag, it turned out to be an American one. THE HILARITY.
Obviously as I’m such a jet-setting, go-getting motherfucker of the highest order it hadn’t occurred to me that I might have been picking the wrong one up. What this means is that I actually didn’t make a mistake in any way – it was just a matter of course, or even an inevitability. It was not a mistake on my part, and therefore it means I am still absolutely perfect in every conceivable way.
And you thought you’d get an entry about Christmas today. Hah, losers. It’s 3.30am here, I’m not about to entertain or amuse you with reasonably well thought-out entries here. Perish the thought.