Tag Archives: cinema

Dreams: can come true

It’s taken until today (27 years, 11 months, 13 days) for the dream to become a reality, but it has finally happened. The boyhood dreams I had – the conversations with friends about how brilliant it would be, the plans we made on how we would make it happen ourselves, the tools we chose to take with us into this particular battle all ended up being unnecessary.

Plus I don’t actually have any contact with the people I made these plans with, seeing as I was about eight years old at the time. And to be fair, none of us could be bothered forking out the cash required to do it, plus – because we were about eight years old – we couldn’t afford much more than a can of coke and a Chomp each. So there’s that.

Anyway: today I played a videogame on a cinema screen. If you have any interest in gaming or have ever played a game, the thought of what it would be like to play a game on a however-many metre wide screen will have entered your head at some point. For me it was during childhood – we wanted to play Street Fighter II on a screen big enough to make the characters life-size. I don’t know why I specifically remember this, but I do.

Probably something to do with Chun-Li’s thighs. Rawr.

Anyway, that’s one to tick off the to-do list. Yes, I had something that wasn’t ‘do a flaming bungee jump off the top of an exploding building on a quad bike while surfing and having four sharks thrown at me’ on my to-do list. Sorry I’m not so fucking cool as you. But you may well have trekked across entire deserts on nothing more than a single bottle of water and a camel called Horace, you may have made incredible discoveries like that the brontosaurus is thin at one end, gets fatter in the middle, then thins out at the other end and you might have got yourself the job as King (OR QUEEN) Of All by the time you were 12, but you know what?

You haven’t played a game on a cinema screen.

Unless you have, in which case shut up and leave me be.

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Cinemas: shit, or REALLY shit?

I haven’t been to the cinema in bloody ages. In fact, the last film I saw was Clash Of The Titans (Titans Will Clash) in 3D, which was absolute ass of the highest order. I think it was really expensive too, but then I didn’t pay for it so WHO GIVES A FUCK?

I am, today though, going to the flicks. The pictures. The cinema. The movies. The picture house. The other name for it. The porn salon. No, wait – not the last one. There I will watch The Hangover 2: Hangover In Space.

I do not expect much from the film. Mainly because I really loved the first one, and it absolutely did not need a sequel at all. Hopefully low expectations will be rewarded with some fun, though.

Anyway, I need a topic away from aimless rambling here… hmm… cinemas, yeah. They’re a bit shit really, aren’t they? I mean, you have to sit in a room with other people, and we all know how shit other people are. They’re all “blah blah” and MUNCH MUNCH and screaming stupidly and smelling bad and being alive and other crap.

God I hate them.

Then there’s the skin diseases you can get from cinemas. Seriously – when I went to see Rambo in Leeds I went really itchy on the seat then a few hours later half my body was covered in a horrible rash. I mean, it went away pretty quickly, but still – that’s fucking foul.

Then there’s the shit expensive food and drink that can barely be classified as either of the things they claim to be. The massively expensive tickets. The inconvenience of having to go there. THE PEOPLE.

Yeah, I think I’ve convinced myself not to go now. OPPS.

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