Tag Archives: come dine with me

100th episode spectacular

I was originally going to save this for the 138th edition of this blog and pay homage to The Simpsons in doing so, but sod it: this is the 100th entry to this here thing I expected to stop doing after a week. As such, let’s take a wacky, zany and altogether ker-azy look back at some of the most wonderful entries I’ve made. Yay for clip shows!

Of course, this is where it all began. The first entry. The bit where I admit to having copied the ideas of a few people, though neither of the One A Day twosome do this anymore. I think it’s a prime example of how I have grown as a person.

Then what about my still-frighteningly accurate Come Dine With Me menu? I really do need to be bothered enough to eat better. I think it’s a prime example of how I have grown as a person.

The favourite image debate is one that will be raging for months to come. In my head, at least. Still, it’s a toss-up between my love for clementines or the Trian Crash right now. I think it’s a prime example of how I have grown as a person.

It’s not the best thing ever written, but I do actually like my Future Is Sterile entry. So there. I think it’s a prime example of how I have grown as a person.

Then of course there are entries like Biffovision and The Best Joke Ever which you should look at because they give you something to watch. I think it’s a prime example of how I have grown as a person.

I think the most popular post, or at least the one that people mention the most to me, has to be Sweden: The Definitive Review (7/10). I have no idea why, mind you. I think it’s a prime example of how I have grown as a person.

Let’s see what the next hundred bring.

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My Come Dine With Me menu

Yeah, I’ve deleted that first image as it stopped being funny. I’m so fucking tired.

As it says on the tin (snarf!), really. I’m well classy, so I’d have loads of courses and the guests would be all like “WHOA!” and I’d be all like “DAMN RIGHT!” then everyone would be all like “OM NOM” and I’d be totally like “FUCK YEAH”.

THING BEFORE STARTER:

Bag of Lidl’s Alesto Nuts Royal (walnuts taken out)

STARTER:

Single plain Ryvita and whatever cheese is in the fridge, ala microwave (20 seconds)

BETWEEN COURSE SNACKING:

Tin of Lidl tuna (BYOF (“Bring” “Your” “Own” “Fork”))

MAIN TEA DINNER:

A choice of either:

Lidl fake Pot Noodle with lukewarm, scum-topped water (sauce optional)

or

Lidl chorizo (with extra pig toenails)

PRE-PUDDING PREPARATION:

BEANS

PUDDING:

Ice cream (I get more than you though, I’m bigger)

If you think this would do anything other than win the fine contest of Come Dine With Me then you are clearly an idiot in denial, who probably has BO or something. Also, if you think this is a hilarious list of foodstuffs then fuck you, this is what I eat. Genuinely. On a regular basis.

Today’s entry was brought to you by: eating bad food for years solid; being up since 6.30am; not being able to actually write about what I want to for legal reasons; not being able to write about the second thing I want to as I’m too tired to form a cogent argument.

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