Tag Archives: comments

I hate you, but I cannot leave you

I attempted some time ago to give up on reading comment threads on the websites I read. In the world of gaming it’s a bunch of over-entitled, immature numbskulls of the lowest level; idiotic, homophobic, sexist and even sometimes racist, as well as the usual, expected hyper-aggression syndrome they all seem to suffer from. I mean, it’s not exactly a nice place to be, reading through them.

But then you’d think it would be different elsewhere. Nah. Not even my beautiful Guardian (*adjusts organic hemp slippers*) is safe from these twits. They’re everywhere. So I decided I would stop it. I would read an article*, I would leave it at that, I would move on. It would be safer, and I wouldn’t find myself spewing pure, flaming rage at a computer screen while my workmates look on, perplexed.

It would be better for me, basically.

Naturally I haven’t been able to stop reading them. Naturally once I’ve finished reading an article** I continue to scroll down the page and absent-mindedly start reading whatever semi-coherent refuse has spilled out of the so-called brain of the twat who has just been given access to their first ever keyboard. I cannot think of a time I have read through a comments section without ending up angry or  otherwise sorely disappointed in the human race.

I know it’s not indicative of the world as a whole – the idiots do tend to shout the loudest, after all. But it’s still there. It’s still irritating. And even though I promise to myself a thousand times I won’t do it, I still end up reading them.

Though I suppose without them we wouldn’t have the likes of Speak Youre Branes and its ilk.

*”Look at funny animal pictures”.

**”Watching a video of a man falling off a thing”.

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Panorama? Nah. Head in sand is better for me right now.

I’ve not bothered watching that Panorama on gaming addiction today. After all the hype (in the gaming community, natch) and all the chatter about it (again, gaming community) I just couldn’t be bothered. I seem to have found myself entering a newly enlightened state where I transcend the messages sent out by those who still think this earth is all there is to it. Instead, I inhabit a place of true knowledge, serenity and total peace. I am at one with everything, and everything is at one with me.

Some people call this ‘wilful ignorance’, and I, on discovering it, am finding it quite the calming influence.

You see, the last few weeks have seen me attacked on a personal and professional level from a number of different parties, all via the internet, naturally. While doing the rounds this morning I stumbled upon a website’s editorial which was entirely based around slagging me off (not by name, but it was about me). The email in which I was called a “cunt” no less than five times, the constant commenter-battery and the general assault on my mental well-being has taken something of a toll*.

I’m not whining – at least not much – and I’m not about to run off crying. If anything, these idiots either make me laugh or give me back the spark I’ve been missing for so long, re-igniting the anger – the passion – that makes me who I am. So to those numbskulls I would like to say: thanks. You’re a bunch of inbred, subnormal prannocks with all the congeniality of a scabby anus and the personality to match. But you’re making me care about things again. So thanks for that.

But yeah, it had got a bit much recently. Choosing to watch a show that would definitely infuriate me even more was something I was not going to do today.

*Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been writing on the internet for just under a decade now. I’ve had all the insults, snide remarks, patronising idiots and death threats (genuinely) before. It can still have an effect though.

(As an aside: I’ve also had more compliments in the last few weeks than I’ve ever had, from a number of different people and for a number of different reasons. It’s just the Dransfield Standard (and I’d assume that of many others) to focus on the negative feedback. SOZ.)

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For all of my adoring fans

The internet is a “wonderful” place, allegedly. It has actually helped me a great deal, and is a fine place for anyone and everyone to do things and show them to the world. Part of these ‘things’ I have done has been writing for numerous websites, as you probably know or have guessed. I’ll save it for another day to write about the places I have written for, as today I would like to talk about another thing that makes the internet unique and “wonderful”. The ability for just about anyone to make instant, mostly-uncensored comment on everything I have ever written. It’s bloody brilliant.

I have been accused of plagiarism for having a similar opinion to another games writer person, I have been insulted, patronised and generally besmirched in many ways*. I can’t say “I wouldn’t have it any other way”, but I can say I don’t mind it that much – especially as they can be so bloody funny. So let’s just take a look at some of the real, genuine, actual comments that people have made on things I have written (all from Hecklerspray, natch, as I can’t be bothered sifting through the other things):

“This is ridiculous. How dare you make such harsh and unforgiving comments about the interview when katie price was obviously devastated about losing a child.”

“listen im a 10 year old but ive got some gob on me okay and im smart enough to figure you idiots out!”

“if “hecklerspray” believes that retarded
Austrailian tabloid then they are a bunch of

“Obviously the asshole who wrote this article knows zilch about acting…
Robert Pattinson is a great actor and I’d like to see you try to portray a tortured artist or a man trying to find his identity from a young age in How To Be….

Obviously he is a fantastic actor seeing as he’s getting really good movie roles, your opinion on this article is biased and a load of bull…”


Bet ur lovin the conflict uv caused ian lol
Personally i think u can hav ur own opinion & no1 shud rly care

I just think ur a bit pathetic”

And of course, all of these I quoted all those ages ago (they’re funnier than these, I didn’t want to re-use them here).

I do so love the internet.

*Some have even been supportive.

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