I’m rubbish at reading. Well, I’m not rubbish at reading – I can read quite well, and reasonably fast. Though not as fast as ‘Freak Eyes’ Anna, my darling girlfriend. She could read War and Peace in about 20 minutes, such is the speed of her eye-to-brain-to-comprehension mind-matrix. BUT! I mean this as in I am rubbish at the process of actually sitting down with a book and reading it.
When I get going, fine – it’s generally going to get read. Unless it’s shit. Or unless it’s Naked Lunch, in which case it’s just going to take me about four months to force myself through it and not enjoy it*. But I have a box over <– there somewhere full of books, about 75 per cent of which have never even been opened.
I suppose it falls back to my other commitment issues which I hilariously covered ages ago, in that I find it very hard to start something new. Once it’s up and running, fine – but it’s that initial push that I just can’t give myself a lot of the time.
Anyway, I was prompted to write this shocking confession because there’s a copy of Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian sat right next to me. It’s only been here a week, but I can just tell it will be here next week, and the week after and not get touched. Either that or I’ll just move it.
I am, as they say, ‘a bit of a nong’.
*Anyone who says they enjoy or understand this book is an idiot, a liar or possibly both.
I cannot commit. Well, that’s a bit of a lie – it’s more just something I want to say so I can have a WITTY headline. I can commit, I’m just not daring enough to start something new, to get into a new life adventure and to bring myself fresh new experiences. HILARIOUSLY, I’m talking about films and TV shows, and not – as you clearly thought – relationships! Hah! Who’da thunk it?
I have a fair few series under my belt, don’t get me wrong. I finished The Wire before most of you had even been told by the Grauniad to watch it (indeed, I listened to Brooker years before the paper starting NOT SHUTTING UP about it), I’ve been through all of Deadwood multiple times and comedy series get rinsed on a regular basis. Sunny series one was famously watched in its entirety three times in the space of a week, back in ’08.
So why do I find it so hard to put something different on? Why have I got Generation Kill sitting on my PC, still waiting? Why have I got about three dozen films that aren’t likely to be watched soon? Though admittedly I did strike Universal Soldier: Regeneration off that list the other day. Dolph! Jean-Claude! Mediocre film! And, most confusingly of all, why have I got Battlestar series four sitting waiting to be watched, when I finished watching the first three series years ago? It’s not hard to finish things, I’m clearly just a mental.
So I’ll set myself an incredibly difficult challenge: watch some things I haven’t watched before. Some things I’ve been meaning to watch. Even some things I want to watch. Crazy, I know – and difficult too. But with the help and support of my friends and family, I reckon I can get through this one.