Tag Archives: gaming

OnLive, innit

Today I have briefly dicked about with The Future, and it was a fun place in which to dick about. The other day a service was launched in the UK (it’s been elsewhere a while, I think. No, I can’t be arsed checking) called OnLive. It’s videogames, so yeah, that.

Basically it lets you play games by streaming them. Think Youtube, a bit higher quality and with the ability to have input on what happens. It means you don’t need a £1,000 PC to play the newest and brightest titles.

Basically, it’s brilliant. It removes a massive barrier of entry for a lot of people and opens gaming up to a far wider audience than it might have had before.

Except for the fact that the games are indeed still the same games, meaning if you had no interest in them before you’re not going to have any interest in them now. And while the barrier for entry that is the hardware has been removed, there’s still that just-as-big barrier in the form of really complex games that need you to know whatthefuck is going on before you can even hope to start having fun with them.

Know what WSAD means? No? Ah. Sorry, you’re still not invited.

And even I, the wondergamer extraordinaire, even though I now have very few barriers to entry for near-proper PC gaming and even though I know what WSAD is and won’t even make a joke about it being ‘well sad, like’ – even though all that, I still want a behemoth of a new PC. I still want to spend that £1,000 getting a monster that can run everything.

It’s just nice to have OnLive there as an ‘also’ option. Some will use it for more, and it will be great for them. It might even encourage some new folks to get involved. Good. That’ll be great. Me? I’m going to pore over the relative merits of a 2500k i5 as opposed to a 2600k.

Ladies: form an orderly queue.

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Dreams: can come true

It’s taken until today (27 years, 11 months, 13 days) for the dream to become a reality, but it has finally happened. The boyhood dreams I had – the conversations with friends about how brilliant it would be, the plans we made on how we would make it happen ourselves, the tools we chose to take with us into this particular battle all ended up being unnecessary.

Plus I don’t actually have any contact with the people I made these plans with, seeing as I was about eight years old at the time. And to be fair, none of us could be bothered forking out the cash required to do it, plus – because we were about eight years old – we couldn’t afford much more than a can of coke and a Chomp each. So there’s that.

Anyway: today I played a videogame on a cinema screen. If you have any interest in gaming or have ever played a game, the thought of what it would be like to play a game on a however-many metre wide screen will have entered your head at some point. For me it was during childhood – we wanted to play Street Fighter II on a screen big enough to make the characters life-size. I don’t know why I specifically remember this, but I do.

Probably something to do with Chun-Li’s thighs. Rawr.

Anyway, that’s one to tick off the to-do list. Yes, I had something that wasn’t ‘do a flaming bungee jump off the top of an exploding building on a quad bike while surfing and having four sharks thrown at me’ on my to-do list. Sorry I’m not so fucking cool as you. But you may well have trekked across entire deserts on nothing more than a single bottle of water and a camel called Horace, you may have made incredible discoveries like that the brontosaurus is thin at one end, gets fatter in the middle, then thins out at the other end and you might have got yourself the job as King (OR QUEEN) Of All by the time you were 12, but you know what?

You haven’t played a game on a cinema screen.

Unless you have, in which case shut up and leave me be.

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The fine art of pulling an all-nighter

I was left shocked (and slightly appalled) (and a tiny bit embarrassed) yesterday when, sat around a table with no less than six games journalists, I discovered I was the only one there who had pulled an all-nighter. This has saddened and sickened me in equal measure, and I hope this transgression can be sorted before I have to take drastic measures. I do not know what I am threatening here, I just wanted to threaten.

If you don’t know what I’m on about, let me explain. I am a person who plays video games a lot. Shocking admission there, I know. If you think this is sad, fuck you. That’s one of only very few serious things I’ve ever written on this blog.

Anyway, to pull an all-nighter is to sit and play a game throughout the night, beyond bedtime, through the night, to be playing when loud housemates get home from their smelly clubs of grotty people and until the daylight hours come back around again.

I have done this numerous times in my life. As a child it was easy to do as I had no responsibilities, I had friends who liked games enough to play them for hours on end with me and I started drinking coffee at a young age. As I got into studenthood it continued being easy, as I still had no responsibilities and going to school was clearly well lame, like.

Morrowind, Oblivion, Football Manager, KOTOR, Tony Hawk’s 2, Power Stone 2, Ready 2 Rumble Boxing, PES Master League mode, the Smackdown games – just some of the titles that have kept my attention through the times when I should be sleeping. It may be overkill how many games I’ve done it with, but I’m just being thorough. The all-nighter is a rite of passage, and if you haven’t done one then I consider you well crap, like.


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