There are many websites on the internet – I’ve counted at least 3,421 and I know friends have claimed there are at least five more that I haven’t been privy to. Some are good, like penisland.net or the comments section of the Daily Mail site; some are bad, like ilovechildporn.com or the comments section of the Daily Mail site. Some, though, are downright dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. The most dangerous, damaging and categorically brutal web portal in the world though? Hot UK Deals. I’m not even going to link to it, it’s that dangerous (though the clever ones of you out there will be able to figure out how to find it, I think).
Hot UK Deals is a site that covers deals in the United Kingdom which are ‘hot’ – ‘hot’ is a colloquialism meaning ‘well good, like’. What this means is it’s a website purely dedicated to outing the cheapest things in the country right now that you can buy from pretty much anywhere. And what this also means is that you will often see things on it that you want, for cheap or downright bloody good prices, meaning you will buy them. Don’t get me wrong – this isn’t the bad point – I think getting things you need, even things you want, for cheap is a good thing. It helps save that awful money thing we are forced to use like a bunch of absolute, scavenging pricks. God I hate money.
The reason Hot UK Deals is dangerous is because it will – it will – make you buy things you don’t want. Not only things you don’t want, but things you don’t need. Things you wouldn’t have thought about buying were it not for the fact that they’re put on a website with a big number next to them telling you how ‘hot’ they are. “1,050 degrees?! I HAVE TO BUY THAT RETRACTABLE WINDSCREEN WIPER!”
I still visit the site every day, but it’s taken me about half a decade to be able to control myself. Please, for the good of your soul (and bank account, natch): do not use Hot UK Deals. Unless you’re looking for a ‘hot’ deal in the UK, obviously.