Tag Archives: laptop

Beep.. beep… beep…. beep….. beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The warning signs were all there – I’ve seen enough episodes of Casualty to know what’s going to happen. If you’re dicking about, someone, at some point, is going to fall through a conservatory/get hit by some cars/otherwise get fooked up.

There I was, dicking about with files I shouldn’t have been dicking about with on this very laptop. I was trying to do something, and doing something required… well, dicking about. Did I mention I was dicking about?

Safe to say, the wrong thing was moved, the even wronger thing was replaced and the wrongest thing was deleted. One restart later and this – my workhorse, my rock – was dead. Flatlined. DOA. An ex-laptop. Shuffled off this mortal (computer) coil.

But why dial 999 when you can perform surgery at home? That’s something I’ve always lived by. Well, no – that’s a lie. I’ve not always lived by it at all. In fact, nobody should live by that philosophy as it’s stupid.

Oh wait – it was a hasty metaphor for the ‘surgery’ I was to perform on my cadaver of a lappy. The hands were washed (“grounded”). The surgical tools removed from their sterilising chamber (“found my toolkit”). Theatre was in session.

And might I say, I’m damn good at this stuff. Everything electrical I’ve tried to fix in my life has ended up fixed. Everything I’ve tried to upgrade or otherwise augment has worked.

Well, aside from that one pad that just wouldn’t stay fixed, but shut up. It was a tosser that deserved to die (“be sold on eBay”) anyway.

It’s had me thinking I might just start breaking things on purpose so I have to sit around tinkering and fixing them.

Though that would be really fricking stupid, so I probably won’t.

Anyway, the computer lives again. Even if it is some kind of unholy zombieputer held together with voodoo and hope. LIVE! LIIIIIIVE!

Leave a comment

Filed under Prattle


It’s surprising how naked I can be made to feel with the simple breaking of one tiny thing in my life. See, I have what’s known as a “lap” “top” computer. With it comes a battery, so the unit can be operated without the necessity for a power socket nearby. It’s a miracle of modern technology.

Unfortunately it does still need power in order to charge up the battery in the first place, and in order to funnel the electric (“planets in the wires”) into the battery, one requires what I cunningly call a “charger”.

I’m bored of writing this now. My charger has broken, it keeps beeping. Fortunately I have Tiny Laptop, otherwise I’d be dead. DEAD FROM DEADNESS. Either that or slightly inconvenienced for a couple of days. Not really sure which. Hmm.

This also means I don’t have ready access to Photoshop facilities, meaning the greatest thing about this blog can’t actually be done. You people literally have no reason to read this page, or even look at what’s going on on it. You may as well just go and not come back. It’s fine. It’s better for everyone.

Also, I’ve eaten about 15 clementines today, and only two of them have been nice. FML.

Ooh, make that three.

1 Comment

Filed under Prattle

Enough is enough: it’s time for a change

It’s fast approaching that time, once again, where I have to make a huge decision. Things are getting stale, old and I’m hearing endless noises in the back of my head that anger me. Change is necessary. Something different needs to come into my life. Even though financially it wouldn’t be the right thing to do, I have to at least consider it for the good of my own sanity.

I’m thinking about getting a new PC.

Unfortunately that brings up a whole host of questions and potential answers. Do I want laptop, or desktop? Barebones or ridiculous power-horse-machine-thing? Pre-built? Bespoke? Self-built? AMD or Intel? Nvidia or ATI? DVD or Blu-ray? Expensive or cripplingly expensive? I don’t really know the answers to any of these just yet, but they’re the kinds of things I’ve had to consider numerous times over the last decade or so.

I’m plotting a return to desktops, as this lappy was always too big to really drag around with me and I have Tiny Laptop for that duty anyway. Then there’s the upgradeable aspect and blah de blah other things you don’t care about. Cheaper too, at least for a gaming machine. Also I have a desk – IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

I’m not getting a Mac, though, and I’m probably not actually getting anything, as I can afford just about £0.00 right now (and for the foreseeable future). Oh well.

But if this fan doesn’t shut up – it’s eating away inside my brain, I tells ya – I may well go on a murderous rampage. Donate money to me so I can buy a new PC and not stab everyone in a 20-mile radius*.

*Note to any law enforcement officials or other humourless twerps: I am not about to go on a stabbing rampage. Said statement was made in jest. Also: you smell.


Filed under Prattle