Tag Archives: licence

Licence to… umm… drive

It’s probably too early for a mid-life crisis, but I am 28 and I still haven’t learned to drive. Now, I know this probably isn’t the best of ideas for someone as monumentally consta-broke as I am. Cars are expensive to buy, expensive to run and expensive to be allowed to legally have and drive. Plus I’m massively clumsy so I would end up dead within the week.

But still, I really should have one. Liberation from having to rely on lifts or public transport – freedom to actually do stuff that I could… actually, I probably wouldn’t do anything. Hmm. But the feeling of liberafreedom would be nice. And maybe I’d go out into the surrounding Dorsety area or something. I don’t know.

Frankly I don’t care either, because all this is leading up to is me saying: I still want a Dodge Viper, as I have done since about 1994. I would drive it so good like, and it totally wouldn’t get nicked and I’d definitely be able to get cheap insurance on it and I certainly wouldn’t ever mistreat it and can I have one please?

I would take gooooood care of it…

Thanks, bye. One time I might tell the story of why I don’t have a driver’s licence. Might not, mind.

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You can’t even driiiiiive!

For some reason I’ve been thinking recently that I really should learn to drive. Then that line of thought gets onto the fact that I started learning back when I was 17. Then I remember I’m 27 now. Then my brain tends to say something along the lines of: “Oh. Bollocks.”

I had a dozen or so lessons, but then went to uni and kind of forgot about it. Then when I came back a couple of years later and had some time to learn again, I stopped again when I decided to go back to uni. Again. And I absolutely was not about to try and learn in Preston, as I value the whole Not Dying thing. There’s logic in there somewhere.

But do I really need to know how to drive? I walk to work, and if I can’t there’s a bus stop 11 seconds walk from my house. I could use a car to drive up to Manchester instead of taking the train, but the added cost of petrol, tax and all that other shit cars require means it would probably end up costing more than it does without a car. Generally, it makes me think of this:

Maybe I’m just trying to convince myself that I’ve not actually done the wrong, idiotic thing by not learning to drive. Who knows? I do. It’s that. Yep. I should have learned to drive by now. I could own a van and everything. Instead I’m relegated to having to walk or take buses, and I have no independence when it comes to actually getting anywhere. Balls.

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