Tag Archives: makes no sense

Labyrinth, or: how to annoy someone for 20+ years

I will never for the life of me understand this here point that is never addressed in Jim Henson’s Labyrinth: why David Bowie has such a big crotch.

No, wait – not that one. The other point. Ah yes, I remember: during the Bog Of Eternal Stench scene, whaserface and her cohorts have to cross said bog (which produces an eternal stench). To do so, Bianca from Eastenders does that rock song she does to make some boulders rise out from below the waters. Fair enough.

But surely, on crossing said newly-rised rocks, there would be residual stench passing over from the water left on them, thus making Jennifer Connelly’s shoes and the feet of all the others smell forever. In the words of Walter Sobchak: am I wrong? Am I wrong?

Calmer than you are, Dude. Calmer than you are.

Having just watched Labyrinth for about the three billionth time in my life I can safely say this is one of the things I thought of as a child and have never quite managed to get out of my head. It just makes no sense. I mean, the exposition leading up to the Bog puts you in no doubt: coming into contact with the stinky water (not a euphemism) will make whatever it is that touches it smell forever.

Yet no mention is made of Jen-Jen’s farty shoes, the dog’s honking paws or Ludo’s massive, shit-stenched, oafish feet. It sets up the logic then immediately contradicts it.

I’m going to write my complaints to Jim Henson himself, see what he has to say about it.

Oh, yeah. Forgot about that miniscule detail. Stupid dead bastard.

1 Comment

Filed under Prattle