I am going to write to the boss of MTV, Gary MTV, with a suggestion for a new show that would send his station’s ratings through the roof – literally! (Not literally)
I have seen there are some shows about supposedly real people doing supposedly real things, and Gary’s station has something to do with Geordies on it. I know this because I just saw an advert that told me as such. I also know these things are popular enough to actually be watched by about 12 people. Possibly more. Possibly less.
I have no idea.
Anyway, I’m going to follow a similar path with my suggestion – imitation/flattery and all that, plus I know how all people who have any involvement with the creation of new TV like their trends (also the whole ‘not having to actually think of a new idea’ thing).
Basically, it’s a shoe-in to be accepted, and once on the air it will become the most popular TV show in the world.
It will star me, obviously, and will be one of those ‘super-real’ shows where it’s not actually real but we pretend it is. I’ll actually be told to do all of the wacky things I get up to, and I’ll probably be given money to do said things, but that doesn’t matter.
The show will be called ‘Fat Tosser In A Dressing Gown’. Each week will see an hour-long show following my adventures in sitting here, in my dressing gown, building up fresh stains. I’m hoping to get a gravy stain by the end of this week, two more tea stains by February 23rd and possibly some blood by February 24th (possibly related to tea stains).
How can you say that would be anything other than the greatest TV of all time? OF ALL TIME.
Also it will make me a millionaire, which I’m alright with.