I don’t think I’ve done any kind of update on this and I’m looking for something quick to write, so here you go. I started this healthy eating and doing some exercise (using EA Sports Active 2, as kindly donated by our sponsor… errm… friends… errm… fellow professionals at EA) on February 8 and, as of today, I still haven’t missed a single workout on it. It is still knackering me pretty much every time, but that’s probably because I’m the least fit person alive. Still.
Anyway, I weighed myself at the start, the week after that and the week after that. In total – though the original scales were different to the two I’ve used in a row – I have lost seven British pounds. This is half a stone, or about three kilos. As I am already big and guttish, I do not look different at all. As I am still massively unfit and incapable of anything approaching being sporty, I do not feel very different at all.
So I’m still waiting on that shit people say ‘changes your life’ or the point you get ‘addicted to exercise’. I’m still making myself do it, rather than doing it as a matter of course. But I suppose it is only a couple of weeks in. And to be honest, seeing a number get smaller every week is fun enough, I suppose. Golf scores FTW.
Or: I’ll just not bother any more as of Monday, and take to eating 42 buckets of KFC. MMM KFC.
323 posts down, this is number 324. I tell you, for someone as utterly inane, boring and pointless as myself, to have come up with 323 things to write about is nothing short of a fucking miracle. But I’ll be honest – it’s getting difficult. I’m finding it harder and harder to come up with something to write.
You see, I don’t just write things that I think people will enjoy reading – I want to write about something I’m actually bothered enough to write about. This makes things difficult. If I just wanted to write things you all cared about it would be opinions on the X Factor, or something. Possibly a witty bit of script related to your favourite TV show that isn’t the X Factor – the Apprentice.
See, I don’t find that interesting. I want to write about things that really matter enough to me to get a reaction out of my brain. You know, real subjects like farting, or buying turn-based 4x games on the cheap. None of your pop culture shit here, oh no.
But away from the facetiousness, it is getting to be a bit of a chore filling this out every day. The reason you’re getting this today is because I have a twat of a headache and couldn’t think of anything else to write, so I’ve fallen back on whining. Again.
41 left to go, then I never have to think of any topics ever again, and can retire into a life of luxury. Fattened, of course, by the massive advertising revenues this whole escapade has pulled in… what do you mean there are no ads here? And that nobody donated to my minimum-£1000 Paypal fund? Motherf…
Seeing as I’m now up to 300 entries, it’s getting harder for me to (bother) pick(ing) out individual, stand-out (“less shit”) chunks of text that have come from my brain to your screen. Also I’m really tired. As such, I’m not just going to list entries from the past and coo over how wonderful I was in them. Instead I’m going to freestyle. Wax lyrical. Shoot shit. Talk bollocks.
When I began this endeavour around a week into January this year, I honestly thought I’d manage a week – two weeks tops – before either forgetting entirely or deciding I just couldn’t be bothered. You can see on the right hand side here where it says “it will inevitably fail”. This wasn’t my usual overly-pessimistic ways shining through – it was just fact, as far as I could see it.
But here we are, 10 months later and not much wiser, still going strong(ish) and only really repeating myself once. The other day when I wrote a blog, realised I’d done something very similar before then couldn’t be bothered changing it, in case you were wondering. I’m going to dare to have some positivity here for once: I am impressed with myself for keeping it up (bwaay!) so long (bwaaaaaaay!).
I am exceptionally lazy. I cannot be bothered doing the simplest of things – instead much more likely to take the easiest of options. Namely, to sit in my pants playing games. The fact that I have bothered to write something almost every day actually impresses me. At the same time, it does tend to dominate my mind at times, and my once-boisterous nature about the whole thing has been ratcheted down a few notches. I know life gets in the way of such frivolities as this. Fortunately I don’t have a life, so it’s been dangerously close to being easy for me to keep this going.
You never know, I might decide I like doing things like “going outside” or “talking to real people” in the coming 65 days, and that might kill off my chances of finishing with a flourish. But right now, I doubt it. One a day isn’t just something I do now – it’s habit. I have a genuine feeling in my gut that bubbles up whenever I haven’t completed the day’s entry, and I get genuine pleasure from finishing my wall of a few hundred words – even if it’s a bag of shite. Like this.
Only 65 to go. Bring it on. Will I continue when the year is up? Who knows. I’d bet on no, though. Also this is actually my 301st entry. I just forgot to do it yesterday.
The whole One A Day thing has hit a bit of a lull for me recently, with most of my entries being even more phoned-in that normal. I can try – and probably succeed – to justify this distinct lack of quality (drunk, hungover, freelancing, girlfriend GETTING IN THE WAY etc.) but that would be taking the easy way out. I think it’s clear that I’m just flagging.
After writing entries that average about 300 words per pop (figure pulled from the top of my head, but likely to be true) it’s bound to happen. I’m running out of topics, I’m running out of new things to say and – dare I say it, especially in the wake of all my eulogising about the whole One A Day thing – I’m running out of motivation. I’m still absolutely compelled to do an entry per day, I’m committed to the experiment and I do fully intend to keep on going for the whole 253 more entries I am due to make. But there’s no denying I’m floundering. Stumbling over my own feet and unable to walk in a straight line. I’ve become the drunken vagrant of the One A Day collective.
But, just as the pissed up bum can – in theory, at least – become a functioning member of society again, I will endeavour to put myself on the road to recovery. If it involves regular series of posts, if it involves more writing about games, if it involves more insane rants about fruit – I will double my efforts and pull out something that I actually find reasonably interesting to re-read should I feel the need to do so. This is instead of how I’ve felt about my recent entries, which are tripe of the highest order.
I might even resort to some more lists. As long as they’re well-written, they still count. GALVANISED.
My computer is being a prick and not letting me put images on anything. It fucks up sometimes. I’ll leave one off this one. Just Google image search ‘oneaday’ and imagine my face cut and pasted onto the third image that pops up.