Tag Archives: mp

I have no faith in any legal system

I’m finding the sentencing for the rioters/looters pretty difficult to either comprehend or accept.

It appears  that if you systematically steal thousands of pounds from taxpayers*over a period of months and years, you’re either allowed to just pay it back and we’ll forget it all happened or you’ll get a slap on the wrist. If you run major corporations and steal from the country, from your shareholders, from whoever else, you’ll just be allowed to buy your way out of it or do a runner. If you illegally cause the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people, nothing will happen to you.

But woe betide those who take some doughnuts, or some cosmetics, or think about doing something wrong in the heat of the moment.

“Among the others to be sentenced was David Swarbrick, 25, was jailed for two years after he stole £25 worth of Oil of Olay from a Quality Save store.”

Just read that. Re-read it. Look at it. Take it in. Two years for a £25 tub of face cream. We had MPs – upstanding members of society we’re supposed to look up to – stealing tens of thousands of pounds and being allowed to pay it back. A man steals something worth £25, gets sent down for two years. What?

I’m sure it’ll be appealed and I hope all of these stupid sentences are quashed. I’m also aware of different cases having different circumstances, of white collar crime being viewed in a different way and blah de blah. Yes there are arguments and reasoning on both sides, but anybody who says this whole sentencing debacle is anything other than… a debacle… really isn’t looking at things in a rational way.

Plus, apparently, they want to live in a world where you can be sentenced to six months for thinking about doing something.

*I don’t say ‘taxpayers’ because I’m such a great, good, taxpaying member of the public who would never do anything wrong – I say it to highlight the fact that it means you.

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My political career starts… NOW

I’ve decided I dislike Conor Burns, my local Tory MP, because his newsletters annoy me. And he looks like a potato. And he comes across as a total spineless yes man with all the credibility of a discredited whelk. And (back to the newsletter) he has things like this under the ‘what Conor has done since the last update’ part:

“Met with Neil Vaughn and PhD supervisor Dr Venky Dubey to discuss the importance of supporting scientific research.”

Seriously. Absolute twattism of the highest order, as if it’s impressive that he supports the fact that one of the most important things in the entire history of humanity is important. Absolute thundercunt. Meaning I’ve decided I’m going to run to be a local MP – I just need something like £500 and 100 signatures, so yeah, get on that. Someone give me £500 and 100 of you sign the thing I haven’t written yet.

Anyway, here’s some of the main points I will campaign on:

Science is shit
I have to take a stand against my opponent, even if that means contriving reasons to do so. As such I have to go against what I actually think – getting straight into the politician spirit – and saying science is actually a pile of anus. Take that, Burns.

Closer ties with North Korea
I don’t mean on a national level, I just mean in Bournemouth West. I would suggest we could send all the idiots with stupid accents from around here over there to… I don’t know… build shit. And they could send us some of Kim Jong Il’s DVD collection, so I’d have some more films to watch. Makes sense. Also: make Bournemouth a nuclear power, with my finger on the trigger.

More schools and money and shit for everyone, apart from rich people
Rich people only don’t get stuff because I hate them, not because they already have money. And I think everyone needs money and school and shit, so they should all get it. We’ll get Kimmy boy to send over some cash to fun it. Or sell a few nukes.

Free dogs for the well behaved
In order to convince you all dogs are better than people.

Free women for me
Self-explanatory, really.

Vote for Ian!

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