Tag Archives: mtv

Fat Tosser In A Dressing Gown: the pilot pitch

I am going to write to the boss of MTV, Gary MTV, with a suggestion for a new show that would send his station’s ratings through the roof – literally! (Not literally)

I have seen there are some shows about supposedly real people doing supposedly real things, and Gary’s station has something to do with Geordies on it. I know this because I just saw an advert that told me as such. I also know these things are popular enough to actually be watched by about 12 people. Possibly more. Possibly less.

I have no idea.

Anyway, I’m going to follow a similar path with my suggestion – imitation/flattery and all that, plus I know how all people who have any involvement with the creation of new TV like their trends (also the whole ‘not having to actually think of a new idea’ thing).

Basically, it’s a shoe-in to be accepted, and once on the air it will become the most popular TV show in the world.

It will star me, obviously, and will be one of those ‘super-real’ shows where it’s not actually real but we pretend it is. I’ll actually be told to do all of the wacky things I get up to, and I’ll probably be given money to do said things, but that doesn’t matter.

The show will be called ‘Fat Tosser In A Dressing Gown’. Each week will see an hour-long show following my adventures in sitting here, in my dressing gown, building up fresh stains. I’m hoping to get a gravy stain by the end of this week, two more tea stains by February 23rd and possibly some blood by February 24th (possibly related to tea stains).

How can you say that would be anything other than the greatest TV of all time? OF ALL TIME.

Also it will make me a millionaire, which I’m alright with.

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Jackass: one of the best shows there’s ever been

So yeah, as an easy follow-up to yesterday’s entry, howsabout a bit on why Jackass is one of the finest comedy creations out there and how if you don’t like it you have no soul? Yeah? Yeah. Because, see, it is.

I’ve got a chip on my shoulder when it comes to comedy, and I think rightly so. I cannot abide by lazy comedians whoring themselves out to an audience of slack-jawed morons with tired, clichéd routines about Stuff Wot We All Can Relate To. I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m just saying it bores and annoys me.

Also it’s bad.

Anyway, same thing for all walks of comedy. Basically: I consider myself to generally like good comedy. I know it’s subjective and lah de dah, but shut up – if you don’t agree with me you’re wrong. Wrong, wrong and wrong. And that includes about dumb crap like Jackass.

Jackass came about at a perfect time for me, starting around the early 00s when I was around the 17-year-old point in my life. Hence, a bunch of RAD DUDES doing STUPID SHIT was my idea of great entertainment. It was. It still is. Even ten years later it’s all perfectly watchable, and it will still make you laugh. Regardless of how much Chris Pontius is in it.

And I think it comes down to a these factors: first, it’s the basest level of comedy you can get. It’s physical, slapstick and involves people falling over. It really doesn’t get much simpler; second, it doesn’t matter that it’s simple as there’s no pretension behind anything in it – it’s called ‘Jackass’ for eff’s sake, and complaints that it’s base really are redundant arguments;

Third, it’s a surprisingly creative show. I mean, essentially they end up taking stupid risks, jumping off/over things, setting stuff on fire and getting their knobs out, but there’s a lot of imagination involved in how they go about doing these things. Compared to something like the risible Dirty Sanchez, Jackass always had a great deal of – for want of a better word – intelligence behind it; and finally, it was a very warm show. You could always tell these idiots were friends, that they got on well with each other. Even Bam, who is clearly a cock. The camaraderie permeated every aspect of the show, the stunts they did and the reactions to the outcomes – and it was warm.

So yeah, that’s part of the reason why I was a fan of Ryan Dunn – because he was in one of my favourite shows. Dunn-less updates restart tomorrow.

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I am incapable of coming up with a witty title about Jersey Shore

It’s best not to immediately judge people, lest you end up looking like a complete plumburger. While some twots look like twots from the twotting outset, there are people who can lure you in with niceness before overwhelming you later with overwhelmingly overwhelming twottiness. Anna. Then there are other types that I can’t be bothered listing because Rude Tube is on and apparently I’ll watch this where I won’t watch them on YouTube, where they are, and where I can watch them at a time that suits me and without ad breaks. Though with adverts. Anna.

Anyway, the point here goes like this: I had not seen Jersey Shore, the MTV “reality” show about a bunch of New Yorkers who apparently pretend to be from New Jersey for some reason or another. I had heard about it from others and I had seen the South Park parody of the show and its motley crew, but not actually seen it. Today I saw it. I realised the South Park episode wasn’t a parody. My life has been, once again, changed.

It has been changed in that I am now willing to judge people based on less than an hour’s worth of watching them. I do not care how falsified the show is, how staged events are or how much they are ‘encouraged’ by the production crew to behave like this – I dislike these people quite a lot. Almost enough to want them to die. I mean, I don’t, as I did raise a smile about once so they’ve done enough to live. But to see people who are so monumentally awful it’s impossible to actually parody them is… well, it’s something. And this is a show that has something like three series under its belt now.

Though I suppose this is a world where 5.5 million people have watched a woman wobbling her tits on YouTube. According to Rude Tube.

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