Tag Archives: one a day

Break de rooteen

I did not manage 365 consecutive entries last year in this whole blogging malarkey. Well, I did. What I mean is I didn’t manage 365 consecutive days. I probably could just have said that from the start but it wouldn’t fill up as much space as this rambling intro does, so there you go.

Anyway, even though I didn’t do all the days in a row, I still did pretty well. Now, however, I feel I have faltered quite heavily by buggering off for a week. Instead of missing a day, or maybe even two, I simply did not do anything for seven days. For no good reason.

Well, apart from the fact I had nothing I could write on and I had no way of connecting to any internet to upload anything*. Life is over. It’s too much. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. It’s all gone Pete Tong. We’re all going to die. There’s no point to any of this. Etc. Etc. Etc.

As such I have decided to tend my resignation and quit One A Day. There’s just no point in trying to rescue it after I’ve gone so horribly off-piste.

Well, that’s bollocks actually. I’m not quitting. I’m just filling in more space as I’m quite tired right now. Oh, and I’m less motivated to write anything because of aforementioned tiredness, hence reticence to even think about writing more shit today.

GOOD DAY.

*Massive lie; I could clearly have done it all if I was bothered enough.

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365/365 – but I’m not done quite yet

I genuinely, legitimately, legitenuinely expected to fail this whole business within a couple of weeks – no way would I be able to last a month, doing a blog every day. Well, as with many things I predict, I turned out to be wrong. This is the 365th entry to this blog over the last 365 days. I have messed up a few times, though I only actually forgot to update once, so this isn’t a perfect, clean run – but I’ve only gone done it. The fact I’m continuing beyond this point is just a bonus – though the charity aspect means I probably have to continue or I’ll definitely get cancer, or something.

Anyway, rather than just looking at some of my favourite posts (which I can’t remember), I’m going to let you all in on some vital statistics that always* make me laugh** as well as the search terms that really are… ‘interesting’. GO:

365 entries, 2091 tags, 570 comments (720 spam comments deleted/DISSENT SILENCED***) and two categories – one of which was never used. But that’s the boring stuff. I know you all want the juicy gossip and the stuff you can compare yourself or another site to, so let’s delve into some more numbers – traffic figures (prepare to be blown away):

18,268 views in the year, averaging out at about 50 a day. The most popular day, when this was posted, attracted 195 people. The most popular post with 412 direct visits is this one, proving once more that it’s lists that make the world go around****. So yeah, it’s not like I’m breaking any records by doing this. I’m just waiting for the day an entry goes viral and I get the spike of 80,000,000 visits I clearly deserve.

Now onto the more… open… stuff. The most clicked link on this blog, with the exception of the blog links on the right side of the page, was this one. Granted, only 40 people clicked it, but that’s 40 more people educated in the ways of Tyldesley being shit. As for search terms? Well, ‘worst comedians’ tops the list with 141 hits. But this is where it gets interesting…

Second place goes to ‘Ian Chaddock’, with 60 hits. Amazing. Then we get things like ‘I hate Clive Tyldesley/Peter Drury’ and variations on the theme making up – in total – probably more than the top-ranking search does (I can’t be bothered with the maths). ‘Working at CEX’ seems to have been a popular search in recent times, as does ‘Kim Jong Il window’, for obvious reasons. But then there’s ‘men who are feeders’,  ‘Gran Turismo 5 is poo’, ‘I met Bret Hart’, ‘gender prattle’, ‘Paul Merson wife’, ‘hwo to enter the coke to vigen’, ‘cern bastards’, ‘I know I’m like Hulk’, ‘wakka wakka meaning football’ and, with three hits (I wish I was joking) ‘www.ilovechildporn.com’.

I love people. They’re brilliantly insane. Anyway, well done me, well done those others who have done it or who are about to do it, and good luck to the rest of you even though loads of people will drop out (I’m allowed to be arrogant, I’ve done the first year).

But always remember: http://www.ilovechildporn.com.

*Not always

**Not necessarily laugh

***Only joking. About the dissent bit, I mean. There really was spam, hard as it is to believe

****Also: worthless prattle

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Good causes through new noises

It is something like a new year, or something, according to the world around me where everybody keeps saying things like “did you know it is ‘the new year’?” and “I have been lead to believe by Ian Dransfield’s claims that it is ‘the new year’ that it is ‘the new year’”. Son of a copper – nothing gets past me. Anyway, this means things like people taking up ridiculous promises they will never carry through to their finish – like lots more people joining in for a refreshed run of One A Day blogs. Hopefully more people will be able to get through to the end this time around – there’s more of us starting anyway, so numbers are on our side.

Then there’s the fact that this time around the rules have changed. Despite the name, you’re now free to blog just about whenever you please, so long as there’s a defined routine to it – once a day, a week, a month – whatever. Then there’s the fact that there’s charity involved – something talked about last year, something implemented this year. You don’t even have to donate money – though you can, by giving to Cancer Research here. No, you can just click through a few adverts and surveys to ‘buy’ counselling time for the To Write Love On Her Arms suicide helpline. If you don’t at least give some minutes to that charity then you’re clearly a shit person. Just sayin. I’ll find a way to put both links on here, but for now look at the One A Day site for the links.

Oh, it also links to the blogs of people participating, including a few friends I’ve badgered into doing it. Though ANNA hasn’t done hers yet. Basically, you have a long list on the right-hand side of blogs that may well just interest you. They might not. They might be better than mine. They might be execrable. Whatever they are, it’s people exercising their creative gland for their own benefit and the benefit of a couple of worthy charities. I’d say that’s reason enough to be smug in the new year.

Ah, smugness.

Oh, and it’s not too late to start your own. I’d say one blog a week – 52 in a year – is so easy it’s almost as if you’re not doing anything. So try doing it.

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Slipping standards, or something

As those of you paying close attention will have noticed, I was a bit all over the place with my updates this weekend. I explained ahead of time that this would be a possible outcome of the visit to foreign lands, but it still sticks in my head. Earlier in the days of One A Day there didn’t seem to be much of a consensus on the rules beyond ‘write more than a paragraph, do it every day’. Actually, thinking about it, there isn’t much of a consensus now either.

Still, I worked from these basic rules and managed to invent my own in my head just through a matter of course. One of which was to actually do an entry every day, on the day. I managed this for a while before forgetting one when drunk, then missing one here, another there. This time around I’ve had to do a couple of double updates to keep on top of things. But am I sliding into carelessness?

Well, no. Not really. I have an update for every day, so far as I’m aware. They’ve rarely – if ever – been more than a day out of date by the time they’ve gone up and I’ve always tried to at least write something and have it on my PC ready to go even if I had no internet access. Or if a stupid hotel had blocked your blog for being inappropriate.

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here – I think it may just be a pep-talk for myself, geeing myself up as I have, in recent months, been at the creative end of some uninspired tosh when it comes to these blogs.

Still, I will soldier on. Any writing is good for the writer, even if it’s shit. I’m always learning with this and I’m well past the halfway point. That could mean, in a way, I’m on the home stretch.

Tomorrow: jetlag will have faded a little, meaning I should return to my regular service/negativity.

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