Tag Archives: opening ceremony

Vast opening

Mr Bean was funny, the Queen and James Bond thing was a better idea than anything else, I missed the majority of it but have seen some highlights, looked okay. I’m on about the Olympics opening ceremony.

But I’m not going to whine about the tremendous waste of money it is. Even though it is. I’m not going to complain more about the games themselves, or how the ‘spirit of the games’ is simply to line the pockets of those already rich enough to become LOCOG bed buddies.

No, I’m going to wonder aloud about the flying swan-bikes.

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

What the hell were the flying swan bikes

That is all. Still: fuck the Olympics. I’m 900% less patriotic after that.

Leave a comment

Filed under Prattle

Opening ceremonies: shit, or just shit compared to Beijing?

The 2010 World Cup starts tomorrow in South Africa, if you hadn’t noticed. This means there will likely be some kind of opening ceremony.

Does anyone care about opening ceremonies anymore? I mean, in Beijing they really just took the piss out of everyone and showed the world what can be accomplished if you keep your populace just scared enough to not question your governance. Before then, opening ceremonies were boring and pointless. After then, they became exercises in futility.

I’m going to use an analogy I’m not proud of here – it’s like Big Brother. It’s either godawful or just plain boring, yet most people seem to actually bother watching it. There will be some idiots prancing around in costumes that mark the individuality of their nation, probably some sporting greats from the past, no mention of Apartheid and then some goits with an overinflated opinion of themselves will run around on some grass for a bit. Still, at least we’ll have the World Cup ceremony to look forward to.

The best joke of all time, or completely and totally the worst? YOU DECIDE.

Anyway, I really do doubt I’ll watch the opening ceremony of the World Cup tomorrow for two very good reasons: one, the stuff I just said, and two, I don’t even know if there is one. I mean, there will be, right? Oh god, I need to know now. And to know I’ll probably have to watch it, and to watch it will mean I’ll have watched it and… oh. Bollocks.

Still, a month of football awaits. A month of boring arguments and identikit comments on the action from everyone in the world. A month of a fantasy league system that’s just a bit shit and doesn’t work properly. A month of getting furious when England lose again. And a month of being forced to watch ITV. Sigh.

1 Comment

Filed under Prattle