Tag Archives: price

Sales: fun, and not difficult to understand. Unless you’re Impulse.

It is the time of year that has become quite exciting over the last few years. The chilly weather sets in, the long nights take over and the feeling just hits you. That’s right kids – it’s digital distribution outlet sales time!

I’ve found myself getting increasingly excited* about the approach of this time of year, as it’s when the big online outlets for video games start to slash their prices. Now, in real shops, for real things, this might mean 25% off here, a half price there. When it comes to invisible products, like video games you don’t physically get to own, the sales are a smidge better. Like regular 75% off better, or 80%, or 90% – that kind of thing. To the point  where it’s rude not to buy these things you don’t actually get to own and will probably never even download, never mind play.

Anyway, this leads onto the vague point I had. See, the sales are great – Steam has set the precedent and all others are trying to follow suit. What this means is a fuckload of cheapities. But there are some out there that just don’t get it. I’m not going to attack Games For Windows Live, as that’s like clubbing a seal cub with learning difficulties.

No, this revolves around my need to pick up a new copy of Galactic Civilizations 2**. Keeping an eye on Impulse – the digital distribution service run by the people who make the game – I was drawn today to their one-day sale which is of the game. “Great!” I think, “I can get it for a reasonable price and the money will go straight to the developer!”

Well that didn’t last long. Off I went to a more standard retailer, offering old-fashioned things you get sent through the post and can hold/throw/burn as you see fit.

Guess what I opted for. THINK ABOUT IT, PEOPLE SELLING GAMES.

*When I say “excited” I don’t mean bouncing-off-the-walls giddy, I just mean “looking forward to”. I may be a sad nerd weirdo, but I’m not that bad.

**STOP JUDGING ME.

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The most dangerous website in the world

There are many websites on the internet – I’ve counted at least 3,421 and I know friends have claimed there are at least five more that I haven’t been privy to. Some are good, like penisland.net or the comments section of the Daily Mail site; some are bad, like ilovechildporn.com or the comments section of the Daily Mail site. Some, though, are downright dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. The most dangerous, damaging and categorically brutal web portal in the world though? Hot UK Deals. I’m not even going to link to it, it’s that dangerous (though the clever ones of you out there will be able to figure out how to find it, I think).

Hot UK Deals is a site that covers deals in the United Kingdom which are ‘hot’ – ‘hot’ is a colloquialism meaning ‘well good, like’. What this means is it’s a website purely dedicated to outing the cheapest things in the country right now that you can buy from pretty much anywhere. And what this also means is that you will often see things on it that you want, for cheap or downright bloody good prices, meaning you will buy them. Don’t get me wrong – this isn’t the bad point – I think getting things you need, even things you want, for cheap is a good thing. It helps save that awful money thing we are forced to use like a bunch of absolute, scavenging pricks. God I hate money.

Anyway.

The reason Hot UK Deals is dangerous is because it will – it will – make you buy things you don’t want. Not only things you don’t want, but things you don’t need. Things you wouldn’t have thought about buying were it not for the fact that they’re put on a website with a big number next to them telling you how ‘hot’ they are. “1,050 degrees?! I HAVE TO BUY THAT RETRACTABLE WINDSCREEN WIPER!

I still visit the site every day, but it’s taken me about half a decade to be able to control myself. Please, for the good of your soul (and bank account, natch): do not use Hot UK Deals. Unless you’re looking for a ‘hot’ deal in the UK, obviously.

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