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Reading a threat on Reddit, OF ALL PLACES, has me thinking: have you ever used movie quotes in real life and passed them off as genuine on-the-spot utterances? Actually, that should be re-written for me to say: have you ever not done that thing you just asked? I use quotes from movies, music, books, games, everything in place of normal conversation.

It all fits too – 60 per cent of the time, it works every time.

As this is blatantly obvious to anyone with half a brain cell to run against the inside of their skull, it does get a bit miff-worthy when I genuinely come up with something original and brilliant (it does happen) and am immediately asked (well, post-laugh): “where did you get that from?”

I am capable of originality. 60 per cent of the time, every time.

But all the same, fitting a direct quote from a movie into real life is just damn satisfying – I don’t care how nerdy or whatever it is. Every time I’m bumped into in a club or pub and respond with a “hey man, there’s a beverage here!” is a victory for me. Every time a “what are you doing in life?” is answered with “hanging out, playing Nintendo” is a championship moment. Every time I meet a trainee pilot named Robert and I exclaim “CAN YOU FLY, BOBBY?” I automatically win at life.

Things other people have written and other other people have acted out are great. I’m going to keep ripping them off for my own small amusement. 60 per cent of the time, every time.

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