Tag Archives: tokyo

Hell Boat 2011

Here’s something that makes it easier than thinking of something new to write: something that isn’t being used at work! Yaaaay!

It’s not all champagne cocktails and all the free hookers you can eat in the rock ‘n’ roll world of games journalism. No, things do sometimes go wrong, stop you from actually doing your job and – as a result – negatively impact on the level of coverage you, our readers, receive here in this very magazine. Sony’s Hell Boat 2011 event (not the official name) was one of those very Things That Went Wrong.

We were meant to be playing a dozen or so PS Vita games – some not present at TGS – as well as having time with the developers to chat with them about their titles. Oh, on a boat. In Tokyo. It was meant to be over by 9.30pm. It was meant to be organised in some way, shape or form.

What we were left with was about six games, some of which we weren’t allowed to play and the rest of which were GamesCom demos that we’d already seen months earlier. The interviews? “Not enough time.” Mainly because we were running about two hours late, thanks to shocking disorganisation and outright lies about ’25-minute’ bus rides (that actually took 90 minutes). Getting back to a hotel at 1.30am, when you were meant to be back at 10pm, when you have to be up to catch a flight at 5am, when you were meant to come back with a lot of great stuff for the mag, when you actually come back with nothing through no personal fault… yeah. It makes you wonder why you bother.

But hey, at least Tokyo Bay was pretty.

So we’d like to send our thanks out to Sony for arranging the biggest waste of time this publication has ever been involved in. It’s had a negative impact on the magazine and, as such, the content we can deliver to you, our readers. Well done for that.

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Tokyo: the definitive review (7/10)

The thing is, I saw pretty much everything in Tokyo that I both expected and didn’t expect to see. I’ve grown up on comics, sci-fi, videogames and whatever else that has Tokyo in it, and it’s all painted a pretty vivid picture of the place. So when I get there and I see much of it is true, from the fact it looks like you’re in Blade Runner some of the time to the way that yes, there are vending machines with girl’s underwear in them – it makes me a wee bit giddy.

Alright, less the crusty keks, but that’s because I’m not a weirdo. Well, I am, just not in that sense.

But then there’s the stuff you don’t think about. There’s the people who, aside from the natural salesmen trying to get you in somewhere to sell you overpriced whatever, are friendly, pleasant and welcoming. There’s the beer, which is good. The language, which is confusing. The food, which is also confusing (WHY DOES IT LOOK AND SMELL LIKE A DOUGHNUT BUT HAVE MEAT IN IT?).

Then there’s the toilets – OH! – the toilets. They are the best things in the world by a long, long way. That potential massive leap towards curing HIV they revealed recently? Bugger all compared to Japanese toilets. You know what I’m talking about, if you’ve ever read anything about Japan.

Anyway, Tokyo is massive, which scares me – as do all massive places. People there get drunk all the time, which is brilliant. The subway didn’t feel dangerous. We went into an area of Shinjuku we were warned was “a bit dodgy at this time of night” only to be confronted with The Least Dodgy Place I Have Ever Been (bar all the titty bars, obviously).

Also there was a random petshop, which was aww well cute sweet etc.

And we saw a Yakuza girlfriend. She had nice tattoos.

Possibly the best city I’ve ever been to, now I think about it, and I have to go again at some point. I’d just have to save up about £3,000,000 for a week’s worth of food and drink. Expensive isn’t the word.

7/10

6 of 14 catch up entries left to go.

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