Tag Archives: trolling

I am not – I cannot be – a troll

I have problems with how I behave on the internet. I don’t fit in with what seems to be the normal way of doing things, and it’s all down to my damn idiot brain not letting me fit in. Stupid brain.

I will, do, have and willdohave say: “I behave online as I behave in real life” and that is true. I treat people politely, generally, only argue when really pushed into it/when I absolutely know I’m right or the other person is completely wrong (or if I want to argue with them) and I don’t resort to petty name-calling, threats or anything else you see everywhere from Reddit to the Grauniad*.

But the reason for it isn’t some altruistic notion of goodwill to all humanity and general, basic politeness – well, it is in some respects. No, it’s more just the fact that I am the Socially Awkward Penguin. LET ME EXPLAIN.

I simply cannot get over the mental wall I put up – I associate what I say with having an effect on someone. A real person. If I am to annoy them in any way, this thought would make me feel bad. If I am to argue, it irritates. I cannot insult as I don’t do it much in real life – at least not seriously, or to people’s faces when it is serious. Basically, I find it difficult to distance myself from the reaction of others.

Maybe I’m insane and should just stop being such a brilliant ball of empathy. YOU’RE ALL FUCKTARDS TROLOLOLOL etc.

*The only two sites I read.

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